Sometimes life gives you curve balls that are completely out of your control.  Through no fault of your own, tragedy strikes that can’t be attributed to poor choices or lifestyle.  They just come out of nowhere and take your breath away.

My sister and her family recently experienced just such a situation when she lost her son in the seventh month of pregnancy.  I wanted nothing more than to take the stress and the pain away from her; to carry the burden so that she didn’t have to.  I went into big-sister-protection mode and at the end of the day, the only thing I could do for her was pray.  Pray for hope.  Pray for healing.  Pray for a miracle. Pray for God’s will to be done.

Many times over the last several months, I have wanted to do more, without being able to come up with what “more” that would be.  And while I prayed for my sister and her family daily, it frequently felt insufficient, lacking.  At times I felt like it was a test of faith to keep praying against what the doctor said was inevitable, but I kept believing that God is a big God and that He still works miracles.

A several days ago, I heard about 10 mins of a message from Skip Heitzig on the radio.  He made the point that when a teacher is teaching, the teacher speaks.  When it is time for the test, the teacher is silent and the purpose of the test is to demonstrate what you have learned.  The silence doesn’t mean that the teacher is no longer there or unavailable.  There were many days where I felt like my prayers were going up into the void, especially with each of my sister’s subsequent doctor’s visits where the report remained unchanged.  It would have been very easy and tempting to feel that God was not present through the process.  As I watched my sister speak eloquently at the memorial service for her son, I realized that what I was witnessing was His peace that passes understanding and that peace doesn’t always mean the absence of grief.  My favorite quote from what she said that day is “gratitude is the antidote for despair.”

A day or two after the message I heard on the radio, I was on the phone with a girlfriend of at least ten years.  Her advice to me was that prayer is often the most important and effective thing we can do in tough situations and that we may never know the full impact of our prayers.  She reminded me that we pray to the great, almighty God, who can do all things, and that no prayers are wasted or unheard. (Thanks, Liz!)

James 5:16 states “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” (KJV).  There are some things that we will never understand this side of Heaven. Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (NIV).  Oftentimes, in the midst of not understanding, you have to be willing to live in the present lack of understanding, and trust that God’s purpose will be revealed in His time, when all you can do is pray.